I wanted to post some of my graphic design logos that did not win the 99 Designs contest...actually, the Bay Area Premier is going to be used, but the other ones are just lost attempts....

You have brought so much joy into my life. I love your kindness, interest in nature, and desire to want to help others, especially kids younger than you. You are truly a gift.

Nine years ago today I was blessed with the most wonderfully happy baby. Laughter comes easily to her, and she is blessed with a sunny disposition and complete confidence in herself. I am one lucky Mama!

I know, these pics look like we are enjoying the sights of Nor-Cal on a most beautiful day, but let me tell you---being in Redding, Ca in August is oppressively hot. Whenever I go up North to visit my parents, (particularly in the summer), I remember why I live in the Bay Area. Nothing beats that climate here.
As for the photos, I do like the subject matter, though. ;)

I don't know why, but Autumn is one of my favorite times of the year. I think of it as a time for new beginnings, and even though the calendar year is winding down at this point, I feel like this is when the year is officially starting.

Maybe it has something to do with this:



I wish for my kids (and yours) to have a wonderful school year, full of higher learning, curiosity and wonderment.

My daily gratitude: I am grateful for the wonderful schools in Benicia, the energy of kids when they are excited about learning, and for the cooler nights. Ahhhhh....

I am grateful for smiling, happy and breezy children, who make me reminisce about what childhood is all about, and who appreciate summer, and all that it offers.

The law of attraction is the law of creation. Creation comes from our mind.

Part of "The Secret" stresses the importance of visualization, and this makes sense because it forces you to define what scenario works best for what you want. I can't tell you how many different scenes played out in my mind before I came up with the below listed scenario.

Here is my "dream" scenario:
My husband is retired from the corporate world. Our real estate rental company supports us. He frequently volunteers as a coach on our daughters' collective sports teams. We have a condo in San Francisco, where we hang out on weekends. We, as a family, explore the city and take our kids to plays, museums and the beach. We live in Benicia. We also have a home in France, where we live for a few months during the year. We are financially very comfortable. Our children can go to any university they want. They are happy and healthy. We can afford to be generous with our children, family and friends. We would be able to donate to various charities as well.

I love the idea that I can visually create whatever I want, and while it seems like a tall order, why is it less possible for me to create this desired life than any other dream that has come into fruition? I look at Lance Armstrong, and other people that have had to overcome harsh obstacles to achieve their dreams, so, why should I make excuses or assume that this is not going to happen? I have to believe that it is possible, attainable and it will occur.

If you had to define your perfect life, what would it look like?

"Look for the magic in every day."

Today's lesson for me is remembering the beauty in tenacity. As I stumbled around the kitchen this morning, I break an egg all over the floor. My kids, bored with summer, are bickering, and it is barely 8 AM.

Meanwhile, I have some web work to do, for which I am happy. After all, I have been wanting money. So, in my lap came a little web job today.

While my kids argue and I am trying to feed them, etc., I am also downloading software which is not working, so I keep at it for hours, and alas, I just keep thinking, "this is going to work. Make it work", and eventually, it does. It can be discouraging, trying to work while managing kids, but I have to keep at it. I have to believe that it will get easier, and to be fair, every year it does.

I am glad when I look at the big picture that I can be the one to make peanut butter, honey and banana sandwiches for Ash just the way she likes it, and be able to simultaneoulsy earn a small income at home. I am thrilled that Hills can have playdates here, which I never had a lot of growing up. I want my children to have a home where they can feel free to have their friends over, and to have the ability to exercise my mind as well. This life is a gift, and behind the chaos, I need to remind myself of that every day.

Okay, so it is working.



I had long asked "the universe" to put my daughter in a particular school, and it didn't look like it was going to happen, but I just kept believing that it would, and voila....today, right before school registration, I got THE PHONE CALL that I have been waiting a year for. I was elated, to say the least.



So, then, I kept thinking, I am going to need to "make more money." I didn't worry about it: I just kept wishing for it in a matter-of-fact way, with the assumption that it was going to happen. Well, within 4 hours, a friend called me to get a bid from me for doing a website.



I am grateful for all of it. I almost cried on the phone when I received the phone call from the school. I am so happy.



Sending love and good wishes out to each and every one of you!!!!

So, I have been reading "The Secret" and I want to document my journey. According to the book, "every human being has the ability to transform any weakness or suffering into strength, power, perfect peace, health, and abundance. "

Thus, my new lifestyle of practicing the "law of attraction" has begun.

One thing I am really working on is my thoughts, and the energy and power that they carry. I have quit saying "I don't want (fill in the blank)". Instead, I focus on what I want, and apparently, the universe responds to what you are stating, whether it is good or bad.

Example of what NOT to say:
"I don't want it to rain."
Instead, say/think this:
"I desire sunny weather on Wednesday."

I am going to list all of my wishes that I am "sending out to the ever mercurial universe" and I will let you know what happens.

Here is what I want:
1. to raise healthy and happy children that grow into responsible and good people.
2. to continue to have a happy and loving marriage
3. complete financial prosperity within 6 months
4. to grow my rental business
5. to continue to enjoy my wonderful friendships

Gratitude is also important in "The Secret". Thus, I am going to take more time in being grateful for all that I have.

Today, I am grateful for the following (in no particular order):
1. wonderful kids
2. my health
3. the greatest hubby
4. sweet, generous and caring friends
5. my home and food on my table
6. time to relax. I actually got the chance to watch a little T.V. today and it was heavenly.

I will let you know how I progress.

I have nothing particularly interesting to say, other than I am enjoying this lazy Friday. Scratch that. I am enjoying this lazy SUMMER Friday.

As my husband hammers away on a tree house for our daughters, I look around at the lush flowers in the garden and I know it sounds corny---but I feel abundantly happy to be alive. Dusk creeps in at a slower pace, and I want to join in this pace of relaxing and not being in such a darn hurry all of the time, so I am going to do just that.

On the note of relaxation...

Lately, I have been turning off the T.V. when I am not watching it, and not leaving it on for "background sound", and I have to tell ya----it has done wonders to my harried self. There is a real disconnect for me to truly think/appreciate/ponder/question all that is going on in my current state with the blare of the commercials barging into the back of my mind. Such a little thing to make such a huge difference.


Anyway, back to summer. It is glorious.

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer and keep posting all of your pictures. I love to look at them!

I was on a date night with my husband a few nights ago, and we decided to see "The Wrestler" with Mickey Rourke. I had no idea that the movie I was about to see was going to stick with me. Wow. I even cried at the end, and had to sort out my feelings why.

I don't want to ruin it for anyone who has not seen it and eventually wants to, so, if you are in this category, please stop reading this blog now. I don't want to be a kill-joy....

Okay, you have been forewarned. I will continue.



Mickey Rourke was brilliant. He managed to literally absorb the character into his core. If I had to describle his character's personality, he was the guy you went to high school with, that was good at _________(insert a sport), said hello to everyone, and drank a beer or two on a Saturday night. He occasionally forgot to pick up his date because he got a little wild with the boys, and felt terrible about it afterwards. He was amiable to all, and had enough humility to apologize when needed. He was genuine, and the kind of guy you wanted as your rock solid friend, but not as a boyfriend or a husband. I have known so many guys like this, and maybe this is why the movie left me in a pool of tears. m

I will say that watching the movie was difficult at times. The violence and blood made me squeamish, but a necessary componet to tell the story. A brilliant Rourke acting manuever that needs to be mentioned is his ability for the audience to experience his day-to-day trials, physically and mentally. He lumbers about, probably from arthritis, as well as aging, and not to mention the obvious aches and pains from being pummelled every day. After his heart attack, the laborious breathing is a constant backdrop reminding you of what he endures daily.

The Ending
While he departs his life on his terms, there is still so much unfinished business. Yes, he gets to "go out" in a manner which he deems to be respectable, there are still loose ends, like his relationship with his daughter. While I appreciated the non-Hollywood wrapping up their relationship, it still hurt to the core. I couldn't help but cry for them both. He was an absentee parent, and deserved her angst, but he was so likeable, contrite, uncomplicated and uncalculating. I was hopeful that his mature daughter would see beyond his irresponsible behavior and accept him, fake tan and all.

Moreover, the stripper that shows up at the ninth hour (Marisa Tomei) didn't bother me as much. Unlike his daughter, she was finished business and he managed to put that together before he departed.

The overall irony but part of the character development is that he views his fans as the only people who have unconditionally accepted him, and obviously, we all know how fickle the public can be. In the end, you feel so sorry for the one-trick pony that sees himself as not good at anything else but this sport. I disagree. He could have coached, or used his likeable personality to do something else. Or maybe I am wrong. Maybe he just reminded me of a good buddy that I would miss if he ever took himself out.

I loved Mainly a Midwife's posting about "Ten Things about me", and I thought I would do a blog in the same fashion. I am pretty much an open book, so I don't know if there is anything to uncover, but here goes:

1. I have a deep fascination about tornadoes. I love to watch anything about them. I was once near one---but it was only a F-zero. (F stands for Fujita, the rating of damage/wind speed a tornado reaches.) I have also seen a funnel cloud in the distance, but again, it was tiny and dissipated quickly. The West Coast doesn't offer much tornado entertainment, which is why I want to go on a real live tornado chase in the midwest one day.

2. My favorite food is Thai. I can't live without it.

3. I have been inside a now-empty missile silo, underground, at night. Probably one of the most interesting and simultaneously dangerous experiences that I have ever done.

4. I love to make up crazy dances for my kids and husband. There is the horse dance, the cat dance and the tick-tock dance, to name a few. They think I am a nut. They are right.

5. My music taste is all over the map. I listen to almost everything. My eclectic music library ranges from John Denver to Lifehouse to Barbra Streisand to AC/DC to some rap. I love music and could talk about it all day long. I love to sing, but unfortunately, I am terrible. This doesn't stop me from doing karaoke, however. Wild horses couldn't stop me from belting out my music in the car, either.
This topic leads me to #6...

6. I fantasize constantly about being a professional singer, and a piano player, oh, and a guitar player, too. Sometimes, I also play the drums, and I am wearing cool sunglasses while I am beating away. I am pretty much a legendary one-man band, in my own mind.

7. Sometimes I watch the trashiest reality TV out there, and my already-struggling I.Q. goes down 10 points every time. I can't stop. The worst one that I ever sat through (and also watched the re-runs!) was "Paradise Hotel." I know, it is complete brain garbage. I might as well stare at a piece of moldy bread all day.

8. I love to travel, but I sometimes get in the mood to visit off-beat places. If you ever want something out-of-the-ordinary to do, contact me. I have a list just for Northern California. One of my favorite places to tell people to travel to is Locke, Ca. I will let you Google it, but it is cool.

9. I hate watching eating contests. They are just plain foul.

10. One of my biggest fears: snakes. Need I say more?

And, now, for one more:

11. I am going to be "crazy cat lady" when I am old. I am a cat lover, and I have already decided that pursuit suits me best. So, when you visit me in my older age, try and ignore the woman in the purple hat talking to her cats. Just remember me when I was sane...oh, wait. I never was.

Happy Tuesday everyone!!!!

It has been 17 days past the first of January, and I am still struggling with what I want to accomplish in 2009. Perhaps this is a sign, a symbol of a year of sluggishness, or relaxation, depending on how you view it.



Here are my intentions:

1. Enjoy every moment as much as possible, and I mean every moment. I need to remember to find meaning in my work, appreciate menial tasks such as washing the dishes, and finding the time to relax more. I already cherish my time with my family, friends and of course, my husband, but I could have a better attitude about cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping. It is going to be a challenge, though, to find something enjoyable and/or meaningful about cleaning up the cat box.

2. Continue my quest to be in shape. Continue to exercise regularly. It makes all the difference on my health and my mental state of mind.

3. Fix what bothers me. Indecision is a spirit killer. If something is irritating me, then I am going to take measures to fix it, and not just talk about how I want it to change. I always feel much better when I make a decision to move forward, rather than agonize about something and then twist in the wind on how I am going to change it, which ultimately keeps me in limbo.

I think that is all for now. If anyone has any resolutions that they would like to share, I would love to hear 'em.

Bye for now!

Happy Birthday, Miss Keri!

I know that I am a day late, and a dollar short, as my grandpa used to say, but you were genuinely in my thoughts this week. I am looking forward to celebrating with you over some margaritas and nachos! You bring so much to everyone: with your ever-warm smile, great disposition and wit. We are all very lucky to know you, and your cakes are just a bonus!

Now...unfortunately, I need to switch the subject and write about a terribly serious topic. I am wondering where in Benicia can one get the best pedicure. I have since tried four places, and have found pros and cons to each and every one of them. Please let me know your thoughts.
My thoughts:
1. Lucy's Nails: great massage chairs, good paint job, and looooove the massage that the man gives. (I don't know his name.) Cons: Impossible to get in there at times, and reservations don't seem to matter.
2. The nail salon next to Baskin Robbins(I can't remember the name): excellent paint job, and the massage chair is also nice. Not as clean as Lucy's, and their interior space is cramped. I will say that their nail fills are the best, and last forever, but their overall retail space could use a little sprucing up. I also hate parking in that parking lot, but that is not really their fault.
3. Pretty Nails (Next to Rosanna''s Bakery): No massage chair, feet are put in a bath that they dispose of afterwards (it is supposed to be more sanitary, but it felt a bit wasteful to me...), the paint job is good, but overall, I was disappointed. It took forever to pay, and they are clearly understaffed.
4. Sanctuary: Now, to be fair, the last time I was there it was 5-6 years ago. The paint job literally looked like one of my daughters got a hold of me. The ambiance was unique and beautiful, but at the end of the day, I want my polish not to be all over my feet.

I get a pedicure every 6 weeks. I look forward to this like a perfectly made margarita or a sundae with all of the trimmings. I usually do it on a Friday when I am off work or a Sunday. It feels indulgent, and it is one of the few things that seem to calm me down (much like blogging). Anyway, I am in search of the perfect place, because I know that I am not alone in this much needed passtime.

Your thoughts on this pressing issue would be most appreciated.

I had to give it some serious thought on why I blog.

1. Foot in Mouth...no more
It forces me to really think before I speak (or publish!!!) I can take the time to reflect on how I feel about something, weighing the good and the bad, and deciphering what is relevant, and what is not.
2. Pure Reflection
It is obligatory to recall past events, current situations and ponder the mysterious future when I sit down to write. (I suppose personal content is a requisite, unless you are writing a biography or fiction...) Many times, these short moments of reflection introduce a range of thoughts: gratitude, wishes and sometimes, misgivings. While I enjoy recalling all that I am thankful for, I also find it necessary to look at the past day, and take a candid look at what I could have done better and how I should handle the same situation in the future. I also take a problematical look at how I can improve upon current circumstances.
3. Relaxation
My heart rate seems to slow down, and as a Type-A personality (more like AAA), anything that forces me to sit still is good.

Well, as the new year has begun, I am ready for change. I am switching from the buggy interface of myspace, and trying out blogspot. It seems more streamlined, more grown-up, in my humble opinion.

I really enjoyed 2008. It was a great year, despite the cruddy economy, etcetera. In fact, I really learned a lesson that one can not only make the best of a situation---but have an awe inspiring year by ignoring the things we really can't control and focusing on what you can. You can still go to the park and walk among the fresh air and trees. You can still lose yourself in a hug with your kids and tell them that you love them more than anyone else on earth---and feel it back. You can still have friends over for dinner and cook hotdogs, because the point is getting together, not the meal that you serve. You can still be thankful for all that you have, and not focus on what you don't.

I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to travel this year. I still get goosebumps when I start to plan an upcoming trip, and being in the various places did not disappoint. We had the time of our lives seeing foreign places as well as cities and towns in the good ole' U.S. of A. We used our entire wad of airline miles in an entire year. We probably won't travel for awhile, but it was worth it.

But more than the travel, it was a great year to spend with our friends and family.

Our daughters bring us an abundance of love and laughter that is indescribable. I have really enjoyed them as they are becoming little people. It is cool---and sometimes a bit disconcerting---when they express themselves in a logical manner that differs from our viewpoint. Yes, they are becoming their own self-expressing entities, little adults, and I suppose that is the goal: eventual self-reliance and independence. Yet, it is scary, too. As a true self-proclaimed control freak, I struggle with this metamorphisis, as well as enjoy it.

Our friends in Benicia are a step above stellar. I can't say enough about the joy that they bring us. I have met the most generous, kind-hearted, funny, intelligent and loyal people on the planet in our little town. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for these people, and I am in wonderment of how the group will rally around to help someone in need, or just to celebrate another birthday. In times of rain or sun, these people are there for you. I don't know many people who get the chance to experience what we have in our little town, and I am extremely grateful for this experience.

I am still wrestling what to "put out to the universe" as my wishes for 2009. Last year, on January 3rd, 2008, I asked for the following on my myspace account:

• good times with kids, family and friend
• staking our business to a new level
• being the best mom, wife and friend that I can be
• helping people in need
• meeting new people
• travelling
• taking any sort of class to help me become a more enlightened person (my brain needs something to think about other than the daily activities)
• becoming more spiritual
• giving back to my community
• attending and enjoying my 20 year high school reunion